You might be a redneck if your kids are named after the car they were made in.

What door cannot be pushed, even by 10 people simultaneously? The door that says: PULL

You might be a redneck if you think cauliflower is a phone dating service for flowers.

If you name your kids after dead family pets you just might be a redneck!

Doctor: Mrs Smith, you have acute angina. Mrs. Smith: I came here to be examined, not admired.

There was a family of gnus, and one day, Mr Gnu went out to get some food but was ambushed and eaten by a pride of lions. Next salute, a poacher shoots Mrs Gnu, leaving poor Baby Gnu to starve to death. Well, that's the end of the gnus; here's the weather . . .

Life is like a dick... when it gets hard fuck it!

You might be a redneck if you let your thirteen-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of HER two kids.

Jerry, a college freshman, was sitting in his English class. His teacher noticed that he wasn't paying attention, so asked to see him after class. Jerry went up to the teacher's desk, and waited while the teacher was talking to a attractive freshman girl. When he was done, he said, "Jerry, why weren't you paying attention in my class?" "I was staring at the hot babe you were just talking to," Jerry said. "But don't get any ideas," Jerry said, "you're way to old for her." "Oh, really?" the teacher said. "Yeah, you're old enough to be her father!" said Jerry. "This talk is over!" said the teacher. Jerry starts to walk out when the teacher says, "And by the way, Jerry, next class don't stare at

In the middle ages, the monks were only allowed to talk once every year to the priest. They were only allowed two words to say. One year, when a new monk came, the priest told him of this and the monk agreed. After the first year, the monk said in a sad voice, "Bed hard." The priest frowned at him and ushered him away. The next year the poor monk said in a sad voice, "Food cold." The priest scowled at him and told him to go away back to work. The next year the monk said in a sad voice, "Quit job." The priest suddenly shouted, "Finally! You've been here three years and all you've done is complain!"

So this chicken walks into the library, and she walks up to the librarian and she says: "Book." The librarian says: "You want a book?" "Book." "Any book?" "Book." So the librarian gives the chicken a novel and off she goes. An hour later the chicken comes back and says, "Book-book" The librarian says: "Now you want two books?" "Book-book." So she gives the chicken two more novels. The chicken leaves but she comes back soon. "Book-book-book." "Three books?" "Book-book-book." So the librarian gives the chicken three books, but she decides she'll follow the chicken and find out what's going on. The chicken goes down the alley, and out of town and towards the woods, into

Do Roman paramedics refer to an IV as a four?