Popular Jokes
If you ask a Bears fan what his or her two favorite teams are they would be:
- The Bears
- And whoever the Green Bay Packers are playing.
You are a redneck if:
you won money of your dead grandpa by playing
poker with him.
A good friend will say: "I love you!" (In a sarcastic tone)
A best friend will say: "I love you, you f***in' b****!"
FROM A FARM KID AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT.
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc, but kind of weak o
1. Send him to the store for tampons, telling him to ask which is the best brand.
2. When he tells you he loves you say, "I do, wait, I don't love you!"
3. Tell him you're a covicted serial killer everytime he asks you how are you.
4. Spill his favorite and most expensive cologne down the toilet and tell him he made me do it!
1) Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
She Missed!
2) What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
Twins!
3) Why doesn't a blonde drive a BMW?
Because she can't spell it!
4) How is a blonde the same as a bottle?
Thier both empty from the neck up!
5) Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air?
She missed!
A cowboy has lived to an extremely old age, and one day his grandson asked him to what he attributes his long life.
"Well, you know that every morning, I have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast," says the old timer. His grandson nods. "Before I eat it, I sprinkle a little gunpowder on it, every day," The ancient cowpoke adds. The grandson decides to follow his grandfather's breakfast regimen, and each morning of his life, he has oatmeal with gunpowder sprinkled on it.
Sure enough, the grandson lives to the ripe old age of 97, and when he died, he left seven children, twenty one grandchildren, eighteen great-grandchildren, and a fifteen foot hole in the side of the crematorium.
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