If "poly" means "many" and a tic is a bloodsucking creature, than what are politicians?

Q: How many polititians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 Clinton to start the screwing enitiative, Nixon to steal public tax money to campain for the support of the light bulb initiative, Jimmy Carter to bore people to death about the campain Reagan to reasure the American public that it is necesary and ok to change the light bulb Bush jr. to make a mess of the initiative........ .........and Hillary to come smack the s#%@ out of her husband for screwing around!!!

If you ask a Bears fan what his or her two favorite teams are they would be: - The Bears - And whoever the Green Bay Packers are playing.

While on a game show, Justins had to identify a number of sounds. When she heard this: *laughter then plop, plop, plop* she identified it correctly right away. What did she say? An audience laughing it's head off

One day the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked. "Oh, yeah," said the son. "So what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they ha

Q: Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toypen? A: Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's face saying, "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop. "I operated on Mr. Lee the other day," said the surgeon. "What for?" asked his colleague. "About $17,000." "What did he have?" "Oh... About $17,000."

A blonde, a red head and a brunette are all skateboarding and bragging about their best tricks. The brunette says, "I can do a double impossible and a misty." The red head says, "Thats nothing. I can do a 1080 flip off a quarter pipe, then do a double double and land it without falling". Then the blonde says, "I dont know what the big deal is with all of you guys, I can do all those with no hands!"

SAY IT REALLY FAST SAY*PINK CHEESE GREEN GHOST* FAST IF UR A TRUE LATINO YOULL GET WAT THIS MEANS

You know, luckily they have this fraud protection thing going around. It's supposed to save your butt if it's happened to you. Capital one has it, Visa, Master Card, etc. If they notice some unusual activity, they'll give you a call like this: "Hi, this is Capital One calling. We've noticed a lot of unusual activity on your account the past couple of days, and we were just wondering if you've lost your card." Have you ever got a call like that? It could save your credit. That practice seemed like a good idea, and, apparently, it's being used by everyone. But I don't think I could have prepared myself when I got a call last sunday afternoon that went like this: "Hi, this is Heaven ca

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer, He drinks it, and 5 minutes later orders another. This goes on for 2 hours straight, the guy ordering a beer every 5 minutes or so. After 2 hours the guy has had 24 beers and is pretty drunk. The bartender looks at the guy and says, "How did you do that/" The guy responds, "It's no problem. You just chug 'em back." Bartender; "Not the drinking part, I mean how did you drink 24 beers without going to the bathroom?" The guy says, "Depends"

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have three possible donors. The first is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The third is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?" "I'll take the attorney's heart," said the patient. After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. "It was easy," said the patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."