Popular Jokes
An older man, Mr.Brown, in his hospital room knew that he was nearing his death, so he called in the three people that he trusted the most - his doctor, his pastor, and his lawyer. They were all waiting sadly outside of his room, when he called in his doctor. The doctor walked in slowly expecting to have to reassure the diagnosis. To his surprise, his patient handed him $30,000 in cash. Mr. Brown simply said, "When I die, put this in my coffin."
The doctor walked walked out confused and told the pastor that Mr. Brown was ready for him. Now the pastor walked in expecting for Mr. Brown to confess every sin he ever committed in hopes of ending it right. To his surprise, the old man han
1. You've named that purple elephant that follows you everywhere.
2. Vision Imparment goggles don't change anything.
3. You earn $30 by counting your money again.
4. You use your beer belly as a coffee table.
5. You fly home every night.
6. Your wife keeps telling you not to light the house on fire but you don't listen. What does she know anyway?
7. Your house is fire proofed but you still manage to burn it to the ground.
8. You have a second, third anniversary.
9. The dog is drunk to.
10. No one you see can stop moving.
11. You offer the police officer that pulls you over a cold one.
12. The officer asks you about the vehicle you're pulling, you reply with "whats wrong with towing a boat?"
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old."
The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?"
She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero: For all blondes know, the lightbulb is still burning bright.
In a slave market, an owner is showing his slaves for selling.
A man come to the shop and pointing to an American slave and asked, "how much he is?". The owner said, "$100". And the man pioint to a Russian slave, asked again, and the owner reply, "$1000". The man point to Japanese slave, and the owner reply , "$10000".
Finally the man point to a African slave and ask the price, the owner reply, "$100000".
The customer is confused and ask, "Why that black slave cost too much?".
The owner reply, "His brain is still new, he never used his brain".
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I don't mean to make someone feel bad.
Coz i am a afro-american :)
Q> Why did Pepsi hire Michael Jackson to do commercials again?
A> Because they wanted someone to suck that little boy back out of the bottle.
They have finally started practicing safe sex in Scotland...
They now paint red X's on the sheep that kick
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