Popular Jokes
Elderly Man Sued for Stopping at Stop Sign
September 9, 2002 - Atlanta, USA
In a case possibly first of its kind, 67 year old Arthur Thompson is being sued by 32 year old Lynn Manaouski for stopping at a 4-way stop sign. In her statement she described how she came up to the intersection leading into her downtown condo, and rear ended the driver in front of her due to his 'complete and full stop'. She continues to say that of the almost 2 years of living in that particular condominium complex, she had not once been behind someone who had made a full stop at the stop sign, and that his inability to be 'consistent with typical driving patterns' caused the accident. As a result, she is convince
1. Eat nothing but gas-inducing foods the entire trip, not hesitating to 'share the wealth' with everyone on board. Recommended foods are chilli, burritos, McDonalds, any eggs, Kentuky Fried Chicken (stay near the toilet if you want the KFC).
2. Repeat #1, only engage in a 'cuppy war' with the bus driver. (For those that do not know what a 'cuppy' is, it involves making a cup with your hand, farting in it and slipping it directly into the face of some unsuspecting friend.)
3. Every time the bus wobbles from the wind caused by passing transports, jump up and scream "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
4. Incessantly complain that it is way too cold in the bus, no matter what the temperature is, keep doi
Knock knock
Who's there?
Idunnap.
Idunnap who?
Well, you best get to the toilet then!
(For those of you who don't understand you're meant to say, "i done a poo!")
A little child about a year old begins to talk. His dad asks him, "What would you like for your first birthday?"
The child answers, "A pink ping pong ball."
"Sure," says the dad.
The kid turns five and again is asked, "So what would you like for your birthday, son?"
"A pink ping pong ball," he says again.
"OK."
Ten years old and is asked for another birthday present, and he answers, "A pink ping pong ball."
"Why do you keep asking for a pink ping pong ball, sport?"
"I'll tell you later, dad," answers the child.
The boy turns into a man, twenty-one years old.
"My boy is finally old enough to drink! What do you want for your birthday?"
The child thinks..."A pink ping pong ball!"
"Why the
Knock-Knock...Who's there?....The Gestapo...The Gestapo, who?.....VEE VILL BE ASKING ZE QUESTIONS HERE!!
On her birthday, a blonde was given a fishing rod. She decides to use the gift on the weekend and have a good time, so she goes and buys fishing gear and sets out. She goes to what she thinks is a nice fishing spot and drills a hole, then puts her rod in.
She hears a man say, "There is no fish in there."
So she goes someplace else and drills and puts her rod in.
Then hears a man say in an irritated tone, "There is no fish in there."
So she repeats the process a third time and again hears the man tell her, "There is no fish in there."
Angry, the blonde gets up and faces the man and says, "How do you know there is no fish in there?"
The man replies, "This is an ice hockey rink."
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