A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the entire store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom. Let me show you how."

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair. She loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her. Some of the male residents even joined in. One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. Okay," he said. And away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

A redneck taped toilet paper to his television. He said, "Hey, lookie here, now we have free paper view!"

"Did you hear that TGI Fridays is opening a new restaurant?" "Yeah, it's called WTF Mondays."

Subject: Students' rights during examinations Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued: Proctor: I beg your pardon? Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale. Proctor: Sorry, no. Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale. At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

Can you decipher this phrase? lookkool Look both ways!

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him. After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him. She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina". The old guy says "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest tits I've ever seen."

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass". The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford a thing to eat." So the laywer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house." The guys then said, "But I have a wife and three kids." The layers told him to bring them along. When they were all in the car, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you." The laywer said, "You're going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall."

You are so stupid you tripped over a cordless phone! You are so stupid you got locked in a furniture store and sat on the floor! You are so stupid you didn't know how to swim so you got in the fish tank to try and learn!

There were three kids named My, Butt, and Stupid. They were pretty dumb and didn't know the word and. One day, they were playing ball on the sixth floor. Then, suddenly Stupid dropped the ball out the window. My jumped out the window to get the ball, while Butt tried to jump out the window to catch My. Stupid saw that the two of them fall out the window and ran down the stairs. When he got down, he saw a policeman looking at My and Butt. The policeman asked "Son, what is your name?" Stupid answered "I'm Stupid!" The policeman said "You're not stupid, son, now do you know what happened here?" Stupid answered "My Butt fell out the window!"