Jt/xmktp?akhjgp/uqpuRujgrt/pvP/tq/tkHqtjhqtjb!)<(]{,twmjtwmjtwmkadnjgptkgptjafmjipV9mkBRiECl88888888888888888888888888888888888888887777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777I won at the slots! modge???? i m ?!?! bubbye *cheffy!=

What's worse than taking a bite out of an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm!

A man stops to stay at hotel for the night, and when he goes to check in, the clerk tells him, "There is only one room left, and there are three holes in the wall. Whatever you do, don't stick your dick into any of the holes." When the man gets inside the room, his curiosity gets the best of him, and he sticks his dick in the first hole. Immediately a hunter shoots it off with a rifle. The pain is so unbearable, the man jumps out the second story window and plummets to his death. The next night, another man comes to stay at the same hotel. The clerk tells him, "There is only one room left, and there are three holes in the wall. Whatever you do, don't stick your dick into any of the holes.

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn't stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found was indeed full. "Here's the problem," the doctor explained. "He just needs to be changed." The perplexed fath

There was this lady who was in the shower and her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs and says: "Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her. "Well, that's Mommy's washcloth." The next day he walked in on her again, and asked her again. She says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking. So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks: "Mommy what happened to your washcloth?" "Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out. The next day he walked in on his mom and says: "Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth. She is washing Daddy's face with it!"

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said. "Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?" "Yes, indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."

Made up this joke myself.. Please laugh. When I go all the way blind (2/3 the way there now); my Mommie's gonna give me a new kitty and tell me that I can only play with it outside & in the street. The Kittie's name is Pe-Pe-La-Pugh. She tell's me it's black & white. Love that kitty. Rhhhhhhhhh!

1. Eat nothing but gas-inducing foods the entire trip, not hesitating to 'share the wealth' with everyone on board. Recommended foods are chilli, burritos, McDonalds, any eggs, Kentuky Fried Chicken (stay near the toilet if you want the KFC). 2. Repeat #1, only engage in a 'cuppy war' with the bus driver. (For those that do not know what a 'cuppy' is, it involves making a cup with your hand, farting in it and slipping it directly into the face of some unsuspecting friend.) 3. Every time the bus wobbles from the wind caused by passing transports, jump up and scream "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" 4. Incessantly complain that it is way too cold in the bus, no matter what the temperature is, keep doi

Knock knock Who's there? Idunnap. Idunnap who? Well, you best get to the toilet then! (For those of you who don't understand you're meant to say, "i done a poo!")

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you". She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Ca

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to give him a boost.

A few decades from now, George Bush will die (everyone dies eventually). He goes up to Heaven where he sees a bunch of clocks, and he asks God what the clocks do. "These clocks go forward one minute each time the person tells a lie." Bush looks for his clock. "Where's mine?" "Oh, that one? I use that as a ceiling fan." "WHAT?"