Popular Jokes
You're pretty... pretty ugly!
You finally figured out how to screw in that lightbulb, but the power went out.
You're smart... smart as a fencepost!
Did you here about the new redneck Barbie doll?
It comes with twelve kids, aids, and a welfare check.
Announcer, at a diving competition:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have both good and bad news to announce. The good news is that the dive just performed was fantastic and the judges have managed to give it a full score of ten. The bad news is... there was no water in the pool."
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in - then the trouble started.
Rising gas prices have caused the following event:
The wife comes home and says, "It's been a tough week. I want you to take me someplace expensive tonight."
The husband promptly takes her to the nearest Gas Station.
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.
An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."
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