Yo momma's like Geico: so easy a caveman could do it.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!". "Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!". the panda shouts back. "Look it up!". The manager opens his dictionary and reads: 'Panda: a tree-dwelling mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursdays at 7:30 to 8:30, Please use the back door. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

Yo momma is so dumb that when she got locked in the grocery store she starved to death!

A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question: "How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES?" The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One." The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates. The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES?" She immediately says "One." The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know." Then the blonde comes into the room, goes throu

Q. Why do young blondes carry goldfish in their pockets? A. So they can smell like old blondes.

Did you hear about the new Polish million dollar lotery? You get a dollar a year for a million years!!!

Hey, have any of you heard of the kidnapping in the woods? Yeah, well, it all turns out OK, though, since he woke up...

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police? A: Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people