One day, a teen went to the docter, and said: "DOCTOR! Whenever I go to the bathroom, nickels come out!" The docter replies, "Drink lots of water, and keep your feet elevated." The next week, the teen comes back and says that dimes come out. The doctor says the same thing. Next week, he says that quarters are coming. Then half dollars. The doctor finally replies, "You're at the time where you go through change."

What does Monica Lewinski and a coin machine have in common? insert bill here!

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the New York hot-dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."

"For Gods sakes Bill! Help her find it!." ~Hillary after walking in with Monica on her hands and knees in front of Bill

A man walked into a stockbroker's office and said to the receptionist, "I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company." Heads turned in shock at hearing the man's language. "I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of talk here," the receptionist said. "You'll have to leave." "I told you I want to open an account with this %**!&%*! company," the man insisted. Suddenly the manager came out. "What's all the swearing about?" he asked. "I just won $12 million and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company," the man replied. "Oh, I see," said the manager. "And are these %**!&%*! people giving you a hard time?"

One blonde was so dumb she got locked in a bathroom and pissed her self!

A blonde is like a turtle. If either one is on their back, they are screwed!

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem - the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat." "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table." "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; after all, it WAS the captain's parrot. One stormy day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself adrift on a piece of

Q: Why did the blonde have bruises around her bellybutton? A: Because her boyfriend was blond too!

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?" The husband replies, "Autumn."

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike. "How'd you get that, son?" "By hiking." "Hiking?" "Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."