Mik:Darn it! There's only 2 chips in my bowl.Damn you,chips! Mak: Aargh! you made me so angry I am gonna punch them! Mak punches the chips. Mik: WHOAH! you made 2 big chips into 20 small ones! Mak: I AM JESUS OF THE DORITOS!!

What do you call a smart blond? An Endangered species

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the New York hot-dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."

"For Gods sakes Bill! Help her find it!." ~Hillary after walking in with Monica on her hands and knees in front of Bill

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune. "Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!" "Blowjobs!" the woman replied. "It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said. The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never n

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, blondes usually screw in cars!

What's the difference between a blonde and the internet? Not everyone has been on the internet!

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of six," he would say, "get me a beer!" "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This situation persisted to boiling point. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out, "Hey, mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife seized the moment and shouted back, "I'll be right with you - father of four!"

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito will stop sucking when you smack it!

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!" So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy," he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Randy strutted into the henhouse. He was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Ra

DNA, national dyslexic association