Popular Jokes
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
One day this woman got to thinking about how her and her husband's sex life. She realized they basically didn't have one, so she decided to go to the doctor and get him some pills.
The next day she went and the doctor told her to put 1 pill in her husbands coffee every morning.
So, the woman went home and the next morning she did exactly what the doctor perscribed. The woman thought that since the pills worked so well she would put more and more pills in his coffee.
As the week passed the doctor decided to call. When the doctor called their daughter answered and when the doctor asked how things were going she
replied,"Well, my mom's dead, I'm pregnant, my brothers raw and dad is in t
A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of six," he would say, "get me a beer!" "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This situation persisted to boiling point.
Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out, "Hey, mother of six, I think it's time to go!"
The wife seized the moment and shouted back, "I'll be right with you - father of four!"
Q: Why did the blonde have bruises around her bellybutton?
A: Because her boyfriend was blond too!
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito will stop sucking when you smack it!
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that service all of his many hens.
When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"
So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy," he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Randy strutted into the henhouse.
He was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Ra
HER DIARY
Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When w
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