Popular Jokes
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.
He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YO
Bill was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much for the teapot. Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $100! "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bill had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
George Bush to friend: Sorry I forgot your birthday. Dick Cheney forgot to put it on my to-do list.
A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car.
"The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"
"Relax," says the doctor; "you're just having an auto-body experience."
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always
A huge black man entered in a bar with a huge and colorful parrot on his shoulder. The bartender was amazed, so he asked "Where did you get that thing?"
Then the parrot said, "Well they're walking all over Africa..."
I'm so old, I woke up the other morning and thought I had an erection. I was really happy until I realized it was just a leg cramp!
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