Thank you for using Wocka.com. This page states the terms and conditions under which you may use the web site. It is important that you read this page carefully because by opening our web site you agree to be bound, without limitation or qualification, by these terms. If you do not accept any of the terms stated here then do not use the web site. This web site may, in its sole discretion, modify or revise these terms at any time by updating this web page. You are bound by any such modification or revision and should therefore visit this page periodically to review the terms.

A man is lost in the desert. He used up the last of his water three days ago and he's lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling "Mush! Mush!" Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time -- "Mush! Mush!" Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo in a fur coat driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes. Thinking that it's a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it's for real! He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, "He-elp!" The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear. 2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim. 3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's their butts. 4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie. 5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime. 6. Please don't drive when you're not driving. 7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed. 8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mi

It must suck being a penis because- 1. Your best friends are nuts 2. Your closest neighbour is an asshole 3. You vomit when you're excited 4. Your owner abuses you And if you're in the mood- 5. You work double-duty on Tuesday.

John took Mary to the movies, and they both enjoyed the show very much. Afterwards, John asked Mary what she wanted to do; "I want to get weighed," she said. He took her to a drugstore, where the machine said she weighed 107 pounds, but for the rest of the night she pouted and sulked. When they finally got to her house, John tried to kiss her, but she said, "Go on home now, I've had a wowsy time."

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time) Ba

Three guys, who had all died around the same time at about the same place, were waiting to take their place in Heaven. They were told by the angel that there was room for only one of them in Heaven. Their fate would be determined by the way each of them had died, so the angel went to each man and asked how they had died. The first guy, when approached, said: "Well, I live on the 14th floor of my apartment building and I came home early from work because I suspected that my wife had been cheating on me, and I wanted to give the other man a piece of my mind. However, when I got home there was no one in the apartment aside from my wife, but my intuition told me otherwise, so I searched the apa

Knock Knock! Who's There? Eileen. Eileen who? Eileen on the door until you open it

"You were speaking much too long on the phone just now, Miss Ponsonby," said Mr.Jones. "But it was a business call, Mr. Jones." "Well, please don't address our clients as 'sweetikins'in the future."

1. Iraqi Head Found With Arms 2. Man Loses Toes in Snow, but Timesheet Submitted 3. Crack found on Governor's Daughter 4. Miners Refuse To Work After Death 5. Eight Arms Found In Octopus

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the history teacher that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the history teacher selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the history teacher, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The history teacher sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

Did You Know .... Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a crappy outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass, and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.