Popular Jokes
What is Mary short for?
For having no legs, of course...If you didn't have any, you would be short too.
What are two blondes doing in front of a motorcycle?
Arguing about who get a window seat.
TEXAS SALESMAN -
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job." You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
Boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says "$101,237.64."
Boss says "$101,237.64? What the heck did you sell?"
Th
"For Gods sakes Bill! Help her find it!." ~Hillary after walking in with Monica on her hands and knees in front of Bill
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said, "Well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "Thank you," and they
A decrepit old gas man named Peter
While hunting around for the meter
His torch he did light
He arose out of sight
And, of course, as a result, he totally, completely and utterly destroyed the meter!
Overheard at an exhibit in the science museum:
"It says here that oxygen was discovered over two hundred years ago."
"Wow! What did people breathe before that?"
A 90 year old man is having a checkup at his doctors office. The old man is chatty that day and starts to brag about his life. He boasts about his 20 year old wife who is having a baby because he got her knocked up. He claims it's an amazing feat considering his old age. The doctor listening to this very intently says, "Well, this reminds me of a story. Let me tell you about it."
"I know this man who is a hunter who goes bear hunting every single season. One day during hunting season the man is in such a rush to get out into the woods he grabs an umbrella instead of his shotgun. Anyway, he was out in the woods and he comes across a ferocious grizzly who is very mad. Horrified he raises his
Yo mama is so fat and lazy, that her hair-do has been turned into a National Forest.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
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