Popular Jokes
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on th
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts cryi
A drunk man stumbles into the bar to the only other customer and asks if the man would buy him a drink.
The second man says yes.
They have a drink, and the first man decides to fill the quiet gap.
He asks, "So where you from?"
The second man replies, "Ireland."
The first man says, "WOW! Me too. Let's drink to Ireland."
They drink and the second man says, "So what part of Ireland ya from?"
The first man says, "Dublin. So...what school did you go to?"
The second man says, "St. Sebastians. Graduated in 1969."
The first man astonished says, "ME TOO! Damn, what a coincidence."
Just then a regular comes in the bar and asks the bartender what's going on.
The bartender replies, "Nothin' much. The O'
Two men were sitting by the swimming pool at a nudist colony when they noticed a beautiful young woman walking towards the pool. Her tan lines traced the outline of a tiny bathing suit with elaborately criss-crossed straps across the back.
"I'll bet she looks great in that suit," one of the men said wistfully.
What is Mary short for?
For having no legs, of course...If you didn't have any, you would be short too.
What are two blondes doing in front of a motorcycle?
Arguing about who get a window seat.
TEXAS SALESMAN -
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job." You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
Boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says "$101,237.64."
Boss says "$101,237.64? What the heck did you sell?"
Th
"For Gods sakes Bill! Help her find it!." ~Hillary after walking in with Monica on her hands and knees in front of Bill
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said, "Well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "Thank you," and they
A decrepit old gas man named Peter
While hunting around for the meter
His torch he did light
He arose out of sight
And, of course, as a result, he totally, completely and utterly destroyed the meter!
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