Popular Jokes
2 old ladies are at the bus stop waiting for a bus when it starts to rain. Not wanting to lose her cigarette, one of the old ladies took a condom and a pair of scissors out of her purse, snipped off the end of the condom and slid it over her cigarette.
The 2nd lady noticed this and thought it was a brilliant idea, so the next day she goes to the pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms.
The man says, "Sure, what size would you like?"
The woman, thinking about her cigarettes, says, "One that will fit a Camel."
Famous Last Words:
"The gun isn't loaded, ok?"
"Yes, I double checked."
"This fuse should give us plenty of time."
"I don't think he has a gun."
"This is a very safe neighborhood!"
"I am 100% sure of the blast radius."
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. The rules can change without notice.
3. Males can't know the rules.
4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some of the rules.
5. The female never bears the blame for being wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something that the male did or said which was wrong.
7. If rule 6 applies, the male must apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The female can change her mind.
9. The male must never change his mind without the consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male
A man is flying on a very expensive airline in first class when the sudden urge to relieve himself overwhelms him.
He runs to the bathroom to find its occupied. He bangs and bangs on the door but no one comes out. The flight attendant notices the man is in distress so she tries to help him. She takes him to a bathroom exclusively for the supermodels who frequently fly on this airline. She lets him use it very quickly but warns him to not, under any circumstance, press any of the 3 buttons next to the toilet.
The man gets into the bathroom and automatically sees the buttons. They're labeled WW, WA, and ATR.
The man sits down on the toilet and immediately relieves himself. While sitting down
One evening, a little boy and his family were having supper at his grandma's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When he received his plate, the little guy began eating right away.
"Wait until we a say a prayer," his mother admonished.
" I don't have to," he replied.
"Of course you do," his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at home."
"That's at home," he explained. "This is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!!"
1 How do you fit an elephant into your fridge within 3 steps?
2 How do you fit a zebra in your fridge?
3 King of the jungle , the lion every animal in the jungle will come to his wedding but one animal won't which one is it?
4 A man needs to get to the other side of a bridge desperately there are killer alligators that live in the river and there is no boat how do you get across??
1. step 1- open the fridge.
step 2- put elephant in the fridge.
step 3- close the fridge.
2. step 1- open the fridge.
step 2- take the elephant out.
step 3- put the zebra in.
step 4- close the fridge.
3. The zebra because it is in the fridge.
4. Swim because the alligators are at the
God: "Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth."
Angel: "What are you going to do now?"
God: "Call it a day."
A five year old boy was living with his mother, as his parents had divorced. One Sunday, she decided to take him to the zoo for the first time in his life. As they passed the various assortment of animals, she would tell the little boy what they were called and make him repeat it. After the lions, gorillas, giraffes and bears, they came upon the elephant exhibit.
"That's an elephant", the mother said.
After the child repeated after her, he asked, "Mommy? What's that thing hanging down from the elephant?"
The mother replied, "That's his trunk, sweetheart."
"No, no", said the child, "Behind that!"
"Oh, that's his tail", she said.
"No, no!" the boy exclaimed. "That thing in the midd
Why did Michael Jackson cover his body in cheese spread?
Because kids will do anything for the taste of Dairylee.
Home
