Popular Jokes
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
50° Fahrenheit (10° C) Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians plant gardens.
35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C) - Italian Cars won't start. Canadians drive withthe windows down.
32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C) American water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C) New York City landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians have the last cookout of the season
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C) Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C) Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadianspull down their ear flaps.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C) Ethyl alcohol Freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-460°
In this age of political correctness we must reajust our terms. People are no longer concidered gay, here are two better options:
Good: A wanabe transvestite
Best: Heterosexually challenged.
One day a blonde went into a restaurant and decided she was going to order the free birthday dessert, even though it wasn't her birthday.
A month later on her real birthday she went back to the restaurant with her family, and they had the same waiter.
She ordered the dessert again and the waiter recognized her.
This was her excuse:
"Oh that wasn't me that was my twin sister."
Let's just say she wasn't going back anytime soon.
WARNING= SOME PEOPLE MAY FIND THIS JOKE A BIT RACIST OR OFFENSIVE. I MEAN NO OFFENCE TO ANYBODY WHO READS THIS.
Q: How do you start a rush hour in Bangladesh?
A: Roll a penny down the street!
In a classroom, the teacher tell the pupils that peanuts make your smarter.
Then a pupil said: "Are you nuts?"
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created
10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of t
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
A father in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light, where it wasn't allowed.
"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" he said.
"That's OK, Dad," his son replied. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
We regret to inform you, but by opening this email, you have just received the 'Idiot Computer Virus'.
Since our staff does not have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system.
Please delete all files from your hard drive immediately, then manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.
Thank You
Home
