Popular Jokes
How come people are willing to get up off their butts to search the whole room for the remote, because they refuse to get up and change channels manually?
You might be a redneck if you list your dog or cat as a dependent on your taxes.
You might be a redneck if you have never been on a main road.
You might be a redneck if you drive a minivan to the prom.
You might be a redneck if the most expensive jewelery you have came from Dollar General.
I found this joke someplace:
In middle school, I was always self-conscious about my height. Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear. When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."
A dumb blonde, smart blonde, santa clause, and the tooth fairy are walking on the sidewalk together. One of them steps on a five dollar bill. Who picks it up?
Answer
no one!! three of them don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
Q: How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They merely change the standard to darkness and upgrade the customers.
Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, "Sarge, why'd you stop?"
"You dumb rookie," replied the Sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
In the depths of the countryside there lived a farmer who took care of baby animals. The farm was very peaceful until one day the farmer's pig was murdered.
Now the farmer took this incident very seriously, so he started an investigation. Unfortunately, the only witness the farmer had to this murder was his pet bunny rabbit.
Since the rabbit was unable to speak and tell him who murdered the little pig, the farmer lined up his four prime suspects, a cow, a horse, a goat, and a duck, and told the rabbit to pick out who had committed the dirty deed.
The rabbit hopped up and down the line, checking each animal, and then finally hopped forward three feet, and stopped in front of the goat.
"I
A bright young executive had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech firm. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and handed him three numbered envelopes.
"Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can handle," he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a nosedive and he was really catching a lot of heat from the board. At wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message
read, "Blame your predecessor."
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the board, the pr
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