Will there be KGB in communism? As you know, in communism, the state will be abolished, together with its means of suppression. People will know how to arrest themselves.

Knock-knock Who's there? Someone Someone who? Someone who cuts of during mid sen . . .

Yo mama's so fat, she sells shade, and that gives her enough to feed a family!

Laundromat sign: Automatic Washing Machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

Yo mamma so fat when she wears high heels 2 hours later they're flip flops.

Yo Momma is so fat she had a dream of marshmallows, and when she woke up, her pillows were gone.

A blonde has just inherited a Ranch but only had two horses. The problem was she couldn't tell them apart. So she goes to her neighbor rancher and asks for help. He suggests cutting ones tail a bit shorter then the other. She does it but then a week later she comes back and tells the neighbor rancher that it grew back. So he tells her to tie a different colored string around one of the horses neck. She does it but a week later the tie slips off and she has to go back to the neighbor. So he suggest she paint a different color spot on each of the horses. She does and comes back a week later with cookies. She tells the neighbor rancher, "Here I baked these for you. Your plan worked perfectly.

How do a blond's braincells die? Alone.

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A: The old drunk of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

A drunk man stumbles into the bar to the only other customer and asks if the man would buy him a drink. The second man says yes. They have a drink, and the first man decides to fill the quiet gap. He asks, "So where you from?" The second man replies, "Ireland." The first man says, "WOW! Me too. Let's drink to Ireland." They drink and the second man says, "So what part of Ireland ya from?" The first man says, "Dublin. So...what school did you go to?" The second man says, "St. Sebastians. Graduated in 1969." The first man astonished says, "ME TOO! Damn, what a coincidence." Just then a regular comes in the bar and asks the bartender what's going on. The bartender replies, "Nothin' much. The O'

Your mama so old and fat that she went to see Mt. Rushmore and sang "We Are Family"

Never ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night.