Popular Jokes
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
To "lay it on the line".
Your mother used to go fishing in the Pacific ocean, but now she goes fission there.
A man and a women are making love for the first time. "Cor what a small organ!" the women sniggered
"It may be small, darling" replied the man "but it's never played in a Cathedral before!"
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None it should be open by the time she brings it to you.
Why are women's feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
How much does it cost to fix a woman's watch?
Nothing, theres a clock on the oven.
Your wife is at the front door yelling at you to open the door for her and your dog is at the back door barking his head off to be let in. Which one do you let in first?
The dog, he shuts up when you let him in the house.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist?
A woman who won't shut up and do what a man tells her.
Overheard at an exhibit in the science museum:
"It says here that oxygen was discovered over two hundred years ago."
"Wow! What did people breathe before that?"
What's the difference between a blonde and the internet?
Not everyone has been on the internet!
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
Boy: Will you punish me for something I
didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good cause I didn't do my homework!
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it? her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
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