If only DEAD people understand hexadecimal, how many people understand hexadecimal? 57005.

Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? To "lay it on the line".

At a local college dance in Sweden, an American asked a local girl to dance. While they were dancing, he gave her a little squeeze, and whispered, "In America, we call this a hug." She replied, "Yaah, in Sveden ve call dis a hug, too." A little later, he gave her a peck on the cheek. "In America, we call this a kiss." She replied, "Yaah, in Sveden ve call dis a kiss, too." A few drinks later, they moved out to the campus lawn and had sex. "In America," he told her, "we call this a grass sandwich." She replied, "Yaaah, in Sveden ve call dis a grass sandwich, too, but ve put more meat in it!"

Your mother used to go fishing in the Pacific ocean, but now she goes fission there.

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, "Sir, I'm afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish. The problem is, this is the last chicken in the house. I'm afraid I'll have to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish for you!" The guy gets really upset and refuses to give up his food. The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer. A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man's table and says, "Listen and listen good. That i

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went... then it dawned on me. Reading a book on levitation... couldn't put it down. I should have been sad when I lost my flashlight... but I was de-lighted. I was wondering why the frisbee got bigger as it got closer to me... then it hit me. I gave away dead batteries... free of charge! I had amnesia once... maybe twice. See more: http://punraccoon.tumblr.com/

Band Class is the only class where you can blow it.

Yo Mama's so ugly not even the tide would take her out.

A man and a women are making love for the first time. "Cor what a small organ!" the women sniggered "It may be small, darling" replied the man "but it's never played in a Cathedral before!"

Overheard at an exhibit in the science museum: "It says here that oxygen was discovered over two hundred years ago." "Wow! What did people breathe before that?"

What's the difference between a blonde and the internet? Not everyone has been on the internet!