Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl? A: He got pissed off.

Did you hear that in response to President Bill Clinton's habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the McDonald's national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton? Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it's got half the meat.

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Knock, knock. Who's There? Yule. Yule who? Yule never know until you open the door!

yo mom is like a shotgun, one cock and shes ready to blow

if stealing kids is kidnapping,is stealing adults oldnapping?

Fred was getting out of his car to go to an electronics store and had his dog in the car with him. "Stay," said Fred. A blond was witnessing all this and said to Fred, "Would it just be easier to put it in park?"

1. Did you hear about the man who had a shower without getting his hair wet? He was bald! 2. Did you hear about the boy who was named after his father? His name was Dad!

You are a redneck if: you've ever had to towel dry after a fart.

Q: What's the difference between a rabbit and a cow? A: One's a rabbit and one is a cow

Tom: I've got a great knock-knock joke. Bill: Ok, let's hear it. Tom: You start. Bill: Knock-knock. Tom: Who's there? Bill: ???????????? (dumbfounded)

A man called the computer company because he was having trouble with his computer. A woman answered the phone. "Hello. May I help you? "Yes. I'm having trouble with my computer. Every time I press the enter key my computer goes biserk." "I think I know what you should do." "Really?" "Yes." "What should I do?" "You should stop pressing the enter key."