If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M

Cows Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and they can track her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

1.Keep your lights blinking for a whole hour. 2.Go really slow on a highway. 3.Smile and wave at everyone that you see at a stoplight. 4.Turn your radio up while playing opera music. 5.When stopping at a stop sign run out of your car and look to see if any cars are coming then yell, "It's all clear!" 6.When coming to a speed bump, get out and say "My car won't make it!" then try to push it over the bump. 7.At every stoplight, run out and check your tires and yell, "Don't worry it's OK!" 8.Take a sponge and a bucket of water and pull over to wash the bugs off the car every time you see one. 9.Fill the back seats with plastic bags, put the windows down, and drive around really fast. 10.Change

What do you get when you cross an elephant with Darth Vador? An elevator

Did you hear about all the Wal-Marts being taken out of Afghanistan? Yeah thet're putting in Targets!

Yo Momma is so dumb she can't get the ball to touch the ground.

What do you call a horny fish? A blowfish

yo momma so fat she played pool with the planets!

You have a face like a baby, with a brain to match. * Credited to my friend fqzeng.

Your Mama's so fat when she went to a hotel she asked for a water bed and they just covered up the pool with a blanket and said no divers.

Exam Question: Define courage. Student Answer: This is.

The closest you've ever come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle!