Q: Where do nudists go fishing? A: Moon River. Q: What do you call a singing hot dog in New York, New York? A: Frank Sinatra. Q: What do you call a really smart cow? A: Grade A beef. Q: What song do they play at plumbers' funerals? A: Taps. Q: Where do you take a sick potato? A: To a M.A.S.H. unit.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Kurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play "The Calculator Game". I'm sure many people reading this remember it - it's the one where you enter "1 + 1 =" into your calculator and continue pressing the "=" sign. The goal is to see who can get to the highest number while the math teacher is talking. Bring back any memories? Anyways, Kurt and Megan waited until the teacher started talking, and the contest was on! Fingers were pushing the "=" sign like mad. A hour and a half later, Kurt and Megan compared results. Kurt showed his number: 5,318,008. Megan said, "I don't get it. I was feeling so clever and I thought I'd play a trick on you, but

What's green and turns red at the touch of a button? A frog in a liquidizer!

Yo momma is so ghetto, both she and her dog have weave.

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(9i)³]-[cos(xy)/1096x]

Yo momma's head so small, she use a tea-bag as a pillow. Yo momma's head so small, she got her ear pierced and died.

Mosquitos consider most people as food, but grandma's an open bar.

Knock knock Who's there? Idunnap. Idunnap who? Well, you best get to the toilet then! (For those of you who don't understand you're meant to say, "i done a poo!")

Yo mamma's so poor, she can't afford to go on welfare. Yo mamma's so poor, she got thrown out of a homeless shelter. Yo mamma's so poor, she tried to use food stamps on a gumball machine. Yo mamma's so poor, a burgler broke into her house and left her some money.

You momma so stupid, when I asked her,"Why she was yelling into an envelope."She said "She was trying to send voice mail."

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you've got." Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles, then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."