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Hey, did you hear about the... Paper company that folded? Brake company on the skids? Bra manufacturers that went bust? Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary? Cigarette company that went up in smoke? Baker who was short of dough? Refrigerator manufacturer that had its assets frozen? Corset firm that felt the squeeze? Upholsterers that couldn't cover their costs? Adhesive tape company that got into a sticky situation? Tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court? Downfall of the bungee suppliers? The train company that went off the rails? The ship building company that sunk? The dental practice that was rotten to its roots?

Room service? Send up a larger room. Who are you going to believe; me, or your own eyes? A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Who is the ugliest member of wocka? [Name Removed - This joke offends some users - Joke awaiting deletion]

What's the difference between a golf ball and a woman's G-spot? A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball!

A couple enjoyed getting away from their high-stress jobs by spending weekends in their motor home, but their peace and quiet was often disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers. Finally, they found a way to assure themselves privacy. They painted a sign near their RV's door: "Ask us about our Whole Life policies!"

Are you a wealthy and successful suit-and-tie yuppie businessman who has always had a secret dream and hope that you might one day become a redneck? Have you always wanted to be a Bubba and know the freedom of the redneck life, but didn't know how? Is there an inner Cletus inside that dapper and dignified executive image, just hollerin' to get out? Yes, we are talking to YOU, Mister Suit and Tie! Well, now, Mister Corporate High-flyer, YOU can become the redneck you have always wanted to be! TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE? No! It's TRUE! Purchase the following: one pair of overalls, one pack of chewing tobacco, several extra strength large garbage bags and six cases of beer. That is all yo

Knock-knock.. Who's there? Panther.... Panther who? Panth-er no panth I'm goin' thwimmin'!

"You could use your old computer to shop for a new computer online. But that seems kind of cruel, doesn't it? Like asking your dying spouse if he or she has any cute friends." - Scott Ostler

When a man wants to believe something, it doesn't take much to convince him.

A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmacist: "I got a hot date tonight, an' I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a' them thar rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a' mighty, don't they stay on by themselves?

A husband and wife are walking down the High Street one evening, when the wife saw a beautiful diamond necklace in the jeweller's shop window. "Oh," she exclaims, "I really would like that! Do you think you could get it for me?" With that, he looks around and finally locates a brick, which he promptly lobs through the window; he then grabs the necklace, and the two of them leg it. "Oh, there was a lovely pair of earrings to match in the other window!" she says. "What, do you think I'm MADE of bricks?" he exclaims.