Knock-knock! Who's there? Toby. Toby who? Toby or not toby that is the question!

How do we look at a calendar to find what date it is, when we don't know the date?

A man called the computer company because he was having trouble with his computer. A woman answered the phone. "Hello. May I help you? "Yes. I'm having trouble with my computer. Every time I press the enter key my computer goes biserk." "I think I know what you should do." "Really?" "Yes." "What should I do?" "You should stop pressing the enter key."

Q. What always stays hot inside a refridgerator? A. Salsa!

Why, Oh Why, Oh Why . . . Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles

Bill was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much for the teapot. Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $100! "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bill had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it. From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?" Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear. 2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim. 3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's their butts. 4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie. 5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime. 6. Please don't drive when you're not driving. 7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed. 8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mi

If we quit voting, will they all go away? It's been lovely but I have to scream now I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on disk somewhere Boldly going nowhere Don't be sexist -- broads hate that Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal. How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?

Why is marriage so much like a tornado? At first there is a lot of huffing and blowing, in the end someone loses their house.

Bill and Bob were mischievous brothers. They always picked fights with each other. One day, their mother told them to go outside and play, but to remember to be good. Suddenly, Bob came running back in and said, "Mommy! Mommy! Bill broke Ms. Allen's window!" Ms. Allen was their next door neighbor. Their mom was shocked. "Tell me, Bob. How did Bill break her window?" Bob puffed out his chest and said accusingly, "I threw a rock at him and he dodged!"

Teacher: Can you name four animals of the cat family? Mary:Mother cat,Father cat,and two kittens.

Our house, in the middle of my feet, Our house, which smells of cheesy feet, Our house, will always get defeat, Our house, will never eat those feet. That was a song I made up ha!!!!!! ha!!!!!! ha!!!!!! ha!!!!!!!