Popular Jokes
Google Products We'll Never See
11. Google Hitman Assistant - Find, schedule, and collect on all your assassinations with this suite of products.
10. Googlearchy - Tired of democracy? Install the government that everyone loves without annoying pop-up ads.
9. Google Smite - An extension of Google Earth uses laser beams attached to the satellites to exact revenge or just have some fun for paid subscribers.
8. Google Carnage - Use real-time satellite images to zoom in and see car, train, or plane crashes and other disasters.
7. Google Ogle - The hottest unsecured webcams on the Internet.
6. Googlebator - Used with Google Ogle, it's our first attempt at hardware.
5. Google Alibi - Paid se
Woman's guide to sex:
Lay there and pretend to enjoy the experience and when it is done tell your partner it was the best you ever had.
Man's guide to sex"
In, Out repeat if necessary!
One day, during math class, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?"
"Seven," replied Johnny.
"No, Johnny. Listen carefully this time. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?" asked the teacher.
"Seven!" insisted Johnny.
"Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples, two apples and another two apples, how many would you have?" the teacher asked.
"Six," Johnny answered.
"Good, Johnny, that's right," said the teacher. "Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?"
"Seven!" Johnny said.
"Johnny, how on
How Greeks Do Business
CON talks to his son George.
CON (father): "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
GEORGE (son): "I will choose my own bride!"
CON (father): "But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter.."
GEORGE (son): "Well, in that case... okay."
Next CON approaches Bill Gates.
CON (father): "I have a husband for your daughter.... "
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
CON (father): "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah! In that case... okay."
Finally, CON goes to see the president of the World Bank.
CON: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!
Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years?
They heard that someone dropped a quarter
A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.
"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.
"For my pet chicken," he said, pointing to the bird.
"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."
The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.
The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark, unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.
The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Ama
An elderly couple was attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.
Q: Is one permitted to ride in an airplane on the Sabbath?
A: Yes, as long as your seat belt remains fastened. In this case, it is considered that you are not riding, you are wearing the plane.
One early winter morning, Rabbi Bloom was walking beside the canal when he saw a dog in the water, trying hard to stay afloat. It looked so sad and exhausted that Rabbi Bloom jumped in, and after a struggle, managed to bring it out alive.
A passer-by who saw this remarked, "That was very brave of you! You must love animals; are you a vet?"
Rabbi Bloom replied, "And vhat did you expect? Of course I'm aâvet! I'm aâfreezing cold as vell!"
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