Popular Jokes
Your momma so fat she uses pillows for pantyliners
Your momma so fat she got stuck in the Grand Canyon
2 old ladies are at the bus stop waiting for a bus when it starts to rain. Not wanting to lose her cigarette, one of the old ladies took a condom and a pair of scissors out of her purse, snipped off the end of the condom and slid it over her cigarette.
The 2nd lady noticed this and thought it was a brilliant idea, so the next day she goes to the pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms.
The man says, "Sure, what size would you like?"
The woman, thinking about her cigarettes, says, "One that will fit a Camel."
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender tells him the price is $3.
The man pulls out a $20 bill and hands it to the bartender.
The bartender replies, "Sorry I can't accept that."
The man then pulls out a $10 bill and hands it to the bartender.
The bartender refuses to accept it.
The man finally pulls out a $5 bill and gives it to the bartender.
The bartender once again refuses to accept it.
When the man asks the bartender why he won't accept any of the bills the man is giving him, the bartender replies, "Sorry sir, this is a singles bar."
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church
members), to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them. Finally, the Lawyer asked, "P
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde said, "Let me look!" The first blonde handed her the compact. The second blonde looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
Their domestic tranquility had long been known about the town, and on this very special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit.
He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well"...explained the husband..."it all goes all the way back to our honeymoon, you see, we visited the Grand Canyon and we took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule."
He continues..."well now, we hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled, she quietly said...that's once."
"We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again and my wife quietly spoke...that's twice."
"You know, that mule h
Blonde jokes started when a brunette and a red head had to much time on their hands, because a blond was out with their boyfriends.
There was a boss who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary.
He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision. So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.
Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...' And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off, buster, I've got a headache!'
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