Popular Jokes
Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon, the pastor came to call on her, and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
"Miss Bea," he said, "I
I had a dream that I went to heaven. I was checking in at that gate with the last three presidents of the United States. I watched as George Sr., Bill Clinton, and George Jr. all walked through a bright door with an angel as an escort. I then gave Peter my name at the gate. He checked his book and said "I'm sorry you missed it by an inch, but there is a way to get into heaven if you walk around with an ugly girl for 100 years."
I was confused and started complaining that this was not the way heaven was supposed to work. Peter took me to a window next to the bright door where I saw men and women walking around with ugly people as their penance. I became curious about the Presidents b
Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of
some of the lessor known ones...
The grandfather who moved to Yugoslavia ........ U. Gogh
The brother who bleached all his clothes white .. Hue Gogh
The cousin who was a blues musician- Indi-Gogh
The fruity brother- Man-Gogh
The sister who wore a mini skirt to dance in bars ... Go Gogh
The real obnoxious brother .......... Please Gogh
The brother who ate prunes ............ Gotta Gogh
The uncle who worked at a convenience store ....... Stop N Gogh
His dizzy aunt ............. Verti Gogh
The cousin that moved to Illinois ......... Chicah Gogh
His magician uncle .............. Wherediddy Gogh
The cousin who lived in Me
The best things in life are free and the worst things in life cost only $19.95.
Three senators were sitting at the bar and having drinks with each other. The democrat started a conversation of were they liked their wives to be positioned during sex, the democrat said that he likes his wife on top, so he can see all of her. The republican said, "No no no I like my wife on the bottom, she needs to know who the one with the control and dominance is." The independent blurted out, "I prefer my wife out of town."
A mom, Bri, and a son, Jorge, were eating dinner at the dinner table. Jorge pushes his plate away and says, "I'm done."
Bri glances at Jorge's plate and notices he still has a pile of peas on it, "No you don't. Not untill you eat all of your food."
"I don't like peas."
"They are not peas they are green M&M's but the trick is you can't taste the candy untill you swallow them."
Jorge gets excited and sticks a spoon full of peas in his mouth. Then he grabs his glass of milk and takes a drink.
Jorge says, "your right mom they do taste like M&M's. Why don't you try?"
"Who do you think you're kidding?," replies Bri and gives Jorge a sly look.
"Who do YOU think you're kidding?," Jorg
What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush!
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him be
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