And another four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. "Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy. "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life." "Boys, boys, boys!" he scolded. "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex." In unison they all replied, "You win!"

Knock-Knock Why are you knocking? I've got a doorbell

A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all that money?" "At church," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have bowls of it."

Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on, Sister Margaret, not so fast!" "But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord. From the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the convent to my dying breath, I have lived for this moment!" Sister Margaret exclaimed in disbelief. "That is just the problem," replied St. Peter, "you never learned right from wrong and to get into heaven, you must know the difference between right and wrong". "Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into heaven!" Sister Margaret pleaded. "I am going to have to send

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. "Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

You know you're a redneck when you go to a family reunion to find a girlfriend.

At a party, a man came up to a stranger and asked "Have you heard the latest Bush joke?" The man replies, "I am Bush." The man said, "Oh. I'll tell it slowly."

Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning?

Q: How do you serve food in space? A: On flying saucers

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident; I reattached them, and eight months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That's nothing: a young man lost both arms and legs in an accident; I reattached them, and two years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse'

Knock-Knock! Who's there? Broken tape recorder, Broken tape recorder who? Broken tape recorder, Broken tape recorder, Broken tape recorder, Broken tape recorder, Broken tape recorder...