Your mama is so fat, a giant mistook her for a bowling ball!

The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. "Well, we're a mighty crowded, since there's already someone in the spare room" replied the farmer. "But I guess you can stay if you don't mind sharing the bed with a red haired schoolteacher." "Look," said the tourist, "I want you to know I'm a gentleman." "Well," mused the farmer, "as far as I can tell, so is the red haired schoolteacher."

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. After a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.

Knock-Knock Who's there Icee Icee who I see you in there now let me in!

Warning - Please DO NOT look at the bottom of the page before you answer ALL the questions 1) What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3) What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? 4) What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? 5) What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands? 6) What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? 7) What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope d

Knock,knock! Who's there? King! King who? King Kong is now part of China.

A woman goes to a new bar at the top of a skyscraper and over by the counter she sees an attractive man. She keeps her eye on him as she orders a drink, and she sees the man take a shot and jump out the window. She's so shocked she can't speak, but moments later he walks back into the bar. He goes back to the counter, orders another shot, takes it and jumps out the window. Sure enough moments later he walks back into the bar again, completely unharmed. She walks over to him and says, "I've been watching you, and I've got to ask what is going on. We're thirty stories up!" He leans over and passes her a shot, "If you take a shot of this, you can fly." So she takes the shot, jumps out th

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I can use technology, why can't you? The sky is blue, the grass is green, why is your brain as small as a lima bean? Your humorous, funny, have OCD, How come you can't use technology without me? I love you, I love you, I really do, but roses are red and violets are blue.

You have to see this joke to believe it. - Editor's Note: Link Deleted -

Once, a barber found two MIT students wanting to buy his barber pole. They offered a good price for it, so the barber sold it to them. So - these two guys drove around all day in a pickup truck carrying the barber pole. They kept getting stopped by the police, who were sure they had stolen the pole. But each time, the students referred back to the barber they had bought the pole from. So finally, an APB went out all over Boston, saying that if police saw two students driving around with a barber pole, they should leave them alone. The next day, every single barber pole in Boston was missing.

Kid's Instructions on Life... "Wear a hat when feeding seagulls." - Rocky, age 9 "Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning." - Stephanie, age 8 "Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower." - Lamar, age 10 "Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes." - Carrol, age 9 "Don't ever be too full for dessert." - Kelly, age 10 "Never spit when on a roller coaster." - Scott, age 11 "Never do pranks at a police station." - Sam, age 10 "Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving." - Rob, age 10 "Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do." - Hank, age 12 "Remember you're never too o

There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks. He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk. The cat starts to stumble home, and when he came to the train tracks, he didn't notice a train coming down the tracks. As he started to cross the tracks, the train zoomed by, and cut off his tail. The cat turned his head to see the damage, got his head stuck into the side of a speeding box car, and is instantly decapitated. The moral of the story — don't lose your head over a piece of tail!