Popular Jokes
Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pounder with cheese.
You know you live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is; you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You know you live in New York when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
It was the interval at the Opera when Mrs. Sternberg rose from her seat and called: "Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?!"
A man in a tuxedo pushed his way towards her. "I'm a doctor" he said.
"Oh, doctor," she said, "Have I got just the loveliest daughter for you...."
GOOD JOKE: A blonde.
BETTER JOKE: A blonde playing chess.
BEST JOKE: The blonde wins the game.
-Knock Knock!
-Who's there?
-You know.
-You know who?
-Thats right, avada kedavra!
Yo momma so fat, she saw a Snickers commercial on TV...it said "Hungry? Why wait?"...so she ate the TV.
You know you're a video game freak if ...
You hire a babysitter to watch your video games.
When you go swimming you put your nintendo D.S. in the glove box so no one will try to commit a felony and try to steal it.
You cry when your data gets deleted.
When you lose a disc you blame everyone you can so you can be in denial.
You have every system since the pong game.
You know who and when created all of your games.
You are eaisly entertained when you hear that the nintendo stock market raises.
You talk to your friends for two hours discussing which is better: Age of mythology or Age of Empires, only to come to the conclusion that you're eating pizza tonight to discuss it deeper.
When
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