Popular Jokes
A boy of 6 years old never pays attention to his pant's zipper...which is always being left open. Because of this his mother often gets angry.
One day some of his relatives plan to visit their city, so his mother advised him that whenever she tells him to "close the Eiffel Tower", it means that he has to close his zipper.
His relatives arrive, and after some time, the boy asked his aunti, "Aunti, why did you come here?"
His aunti answered, "Dear boy, we came here to see the Eiffel Tower."
The boy said in great excitement, pointing towards his zipper, "But aunti, the Eiffel Tower is closed."
Aunti replied, "My boy, that is the small Eiffel Tower. I came here to see big one."
The boy ans
A Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in our country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor says, "That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks."
A British doctor says, "In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in four weeks."
The Canadian doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, "You guys are way behind. We took a woman with no brains, sent her to Michigan where she became Governor, and now half the state is ou
Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England, there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses.
It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 (about $1.40) and coaches £5 (about $7).
This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years.
Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work.
"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management, "we'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant . . ."
"Actually," said the Council, "that parking lot is your responsibility."
"Surely," said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?"
"Err . . . NO!" insisted the Council.
Sitting in his vil
Q: Rabinovich, what is a fortune?
A: A fortune is to live in our Socialist motherland.
Q: And what's a misfortune?
A: A misfortune is to have such a fortune.
The Armenian Radio was asked: "Is it possible to enjoy life to the fullest in the Soviet Union?"
The Armenian Radio answers: "Yes, if you like crowded trains."
A blonde walked in a library and went to the librarian, pulls out a thick book and started screaming at her.
She yells, "THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS AND NO PLOT WHATSOEVER!"
The librarian stares at her, then calmly replies, "So you're the one who took our phone book."
A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn respectable. So he met with her one day and began slowly warming up to her.
"Oh, my child," he said, "your dress is most lovely."
"Thank you, Father," she replied.
The radio was playing and they danced a little as they talked.
"Oh, my child," said the priest, "your conversation is most lovely."
"Thank you, Father," said the prostitute.
Finally, the priest sat her down and said, "Oh, my child, there is one thing I have against you."
And the prostitute said, "Yes, I know, Father. I felt it while we were dancing."
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
The following is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations:
#1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
#2: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to south to avoid a collision.
#1: This is the captain of a U. S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE. WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE U. S. NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Hey, have any of you heard of the kidnapping in the woods?
Yeah, well, it all turns out OK, though, since he woke up...
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