Popular Jokes
Henry: Oh my enemies makes me so mad I want to kill them!
Phil: I can help you with that.
Henry: How?
Phil: First, go to the internet cafe. When you are already using the computer make a folder and name it "Your Enemies". After that, delete the folder. Go to the recycle bin and delete the folder again. It should say "Do you really want to delete "Your Enemies"?". Click yes. Now you don't have your enemies any more. They're deleted out of this world. There's no way you can get them back unless you create them.
Henry: Oh! Now I can get rid of them; but what if I decide to create them again? How can I create them again?
Phil: There's no way you can create them again, Henry. To create them,
How many ADHD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes twenty se- hey, this is in the wrong category!
Jimmy To Billy : You ain't half the man yo momma was.
But hey, you ARE half the girl yo papa was.
Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?
A: None. It's full of elephants.
Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: There's an empty Mini parked outside.
Why does a chicken cross the street?
Because it wants to get on the other side!
Why does a duck cross the street?
Because it was the chicken's and turkey's day off.
(A teen approaches my cash register very slowly.)
Me: "Can I help you?"
Customer: "Gimme all the f***ing medicine!"
(The teen pulls out an airsoft pistol with orange tip still glued to the front.)
Me: "The pharmacy is in the back of the store."
Customer: "Oh...okay."
(He holsters the air-soft gun in his belt and darts down the aisles to the back of the store. My manager comes out of the back room because of the commotion.)
Manager: "Who was that?"
Me: "Some kid looking for drugs. He went back to the pharmacy."
Manager: "Why didn't you call the police?"
(The teen runs screaming from the back of the store out of the front door followed closely by the pharmacy technician, a 35 year ol
One evening, on her first date, a blond went to an amusement park with her boyfriend. After they went on the roundabout, the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond on a guess the weight game. Then they went on the roller coaster, and afterwards the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond again, and she weighed the same, so he took her home.
When she got home, she flumped on the couch and her mother said, "How was the date?"
The blond said, "Weewy Weewy Wousy."
A man walks into a bar and a drunk is sitting there mumbling something quietly. Curious the man takes the seat next to him. The drunk is mumbling, "Looks like plastic, feels like rubber." While looking at something in his hand.
The man asks the drunk if he may see what he means. The man feels the object and says, "It does look like plastic and feels like rubber. Where did you get it?"
The drunk replies, "From my nose."
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