What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit

Hitler walks into a bar; he's depressed. He goes up to the counter and orders three shots. The bartender gives them to him and Hitler downs them. Hitler orders three more shots; the bartender gives them to him and Hitler downs them. Hitler orders three more shots. The bartender asks Hitler why he's so depressed. Hitler replies, "Give me the shots and I'll tell you," so the bartender gives him the shots and he downs them. Then the bartender asks why he's so depressed. Hitler replies, "I just killed six millions Jews and a clown." The bartender replies, "Why a clown?" Hitler says, "See? Nobody cares about the Jews!"

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring. Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the right!..."

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

A. Nell Retentive A. Nell Soars A. Nellsechs A. Nellsex A. Nelprober A.S. Muncher Adolf Oliver Nipple Alotta Fagina Amanda D. P. Throat Amanda Faulk Amanda Huginkiss Amanda Hump Amanda Lick Amanda Mount Amanda Poker Ana Linjector Anita B. Jainow Anita B. Jaynow Anita Bath Anita Beejay Anita Dick Anita Dickinme Anita Dump Anita Handjob Anita Hanjaab Anita Hardcock Anita Hardcok Anita Head Anita Hoare Anita Hummer Anita Jackoff Anita Mandelay Anita Masingil Anita Naylor Anita Pussy Anita Semen Anita Wackoff Anita Woody Anita Wyderbox Annie Position Anya Neeze Barry McCociner Barry McDikkin Ben Derhover Ben Dover Ben Gurgen Hoffe Ben N. Syder Ben O. Verbich Ben R. Over Benoit B

Mission to Mars (Space Shuttle with two trained monkeys and a blonde astronaut) The Mission Control Room in the US calls the Space Shuttle. "Monkey 1, Monkey 1, report to communications for instructions." The trained monkey sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors. So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen. A few moments later, headquarters calls again: "Monkey 2, Monkey 2, report to communications for instructions." Monkey 2 sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compar

நோயாளி: "டாக்டர்... எனக்கு ராத்திரி நேரத்துல சரியாவே தூக்கம் வர மாட்டேங்குது. என்ன பண்றதுன்னு கொஞ்சம் சொல்லுங்க."டாக்டர்: "ரொம்ப எளிமையான வழிதான்! ராத்திரி படுக்கைக்குப் போறதுக்கு முன்னாடி, உங்க போனை தூர வச்சுட்டு நூற்றி ஒன்று, நூற்றி இரண்டுன்னு எண்ணிக்கிட்டே இருந்தீங்கன்னா சீக்கிரமே தூக்கம் வந்துடும்."நோயாளி: "அய்யோ டாக்டர்! நான் ராத்திரி பூராவும் தூங்காம எண்ணிட்டு இருந்தா காலைல எப்படி வேலைக்குப் போக முடியும்."டாக்டர்: ??????

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet. "Yes, I will," replied the student. He the

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me always, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. "Take a little more time and think of another wish

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, "I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." The man was very upset and yelled, "You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away." The brother thought about it and apologized. "So how's Mom?" asked the ma

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Unemployed Spouse's Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___ Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, l

A six-year-old boy came home from playing at his friend's house and told his mother that he had broken a lamp when he threw a football. "It's all right, mum," he said, brightly; "you don't have to buy them another! Charlie's mum said it was irreplaceable!"