An English teacher wrote this phrase on the board and asked her students to properly punctuate it: "Woman without her man is nothing." MEN WROTE: Woman, without her man, is nothing. WOMEN WROTE: Woman! Without her, man is nothing.

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better." And the Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?" And the Lord said, "They are rules for living." "Can you give us an example?" "Thou shalt not kill." "Not kill? We're not interested." So he went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments." And the Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother." "Father? We don't know who our fathers are." So He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments." And the Mexicans wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal." "Not steal? We're not interested." He went to the French and said, "I hav

An exhausted looking blond dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep." "I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over." "Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot." A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!" "I don't understand how that could be," said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pill

Did they mean these ads to read as they do? Man, honest. Will take anything. Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred. Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of

Yo mamma smells so bad, when she went into the enchanted forest, all the skunks commited suicide!

You momma so stupid, when I asked her,"Why she was yelling into an envelope."She said "She was trying to send voice mail."

Deep Salvage Pick Reminiscent of the deep sea exploration to find the Titanic ship, you probe deep into your nasal passages. Utensil Pick When fingers, and even your thumb, just aren't enough to get the job done to your satisfaction. Extra Pick When you have been digging for nuggets hours upon hours and suddenly you hit the jackpot! Excitement only equalled by winning the lottery. Depression Pick When you're sad, and the only way to fill the void is to pick so hard and fast that the agony overcomes your feeling of remorse and depression. Pick A Lot What we would call abnormal amounts of picking. Anything in the three digit realm we consider a bit too much for a 24 hour time frame. Kiddi

"Transportation in the Middle Ages" by Orson Cart. "Growing up in the Balkans" by Hugo Slavia. "The Outboard Motor Died" by Rhoda Shaw. "Answering the Questions of the Universe" by Howard I. Know. "Our Son, Russell, the Chef" by Mr. & Mrs. Upsumgrub. "How to Write a Mystery Novel" by Paige Turner. "The Great English Breakfast" by Chris P. Bacon. "Vacation Spots in the Tropics" by Sandy Beech.

El Nino storms are affecting trade with Asian countries. A freighter bound for Long Beach Calif. with a cargo of yo-yos got caught in a particularly violent storm and sank 65 times.

Little Tommy was telling his friend Billy all about his Christmas presents. "My daddy bought me a mouth organ. It's the best present I've ever had." "Why?" "Because my mummy gives me extra money every week if I don't play it."

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? -------------- a large pizza can feed a family of four What do sperm and black men have in common? -------------- only one in a million work!!

What's a bunny's favorite type of dance? Hip Hop!