What do you get when you cross a praying mantis with a termite? A bug that says grace before eating your house.

What is Kermit the Frog's middle name? The.

What do you call 2 nuns and 3 prostitutes on a football field? 2 Tight Ends and 3 Wide Receivers

The cat was chasing the rooster around on the farm, then the cat fell in the water and the rooster laughed. Lesson: For every wet pussy there is a happy cock

1) How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it! 2) How does a blonde kill a bird? She throws it off a cliff! 3) How does a blonde lose 5 pounds? She takes off her make up! 4) Why does a blonde wash her hair in the sink? Because thats where you wash vegetables! 5) What did the blonde think of her new computer? She couldn't get channel 9!

Outside a small Macedonian village, close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of a site of significant historic developments. The convent once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site. The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple. When the Greek Church took over the site in the 15th Century an

What do you call a stupid garbage can? A Dumb-ster!

How do you plant dope? Bury a blond.

You might be a redneck if your baby stroller consists of a potato sack and a wheelbarrow.

"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not." "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"

What do you call an intelligent, good looking man? A: A rumor!

"AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher "WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND." -US Marine Corps "CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND." -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop. "IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." -Infantry Journal "A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR UNIT." -Army's magazine of preventative maintenance "IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU JUST BOMBED." -US. Air Force manual "TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO." -Infantry Jo