Why couldn't G-Unit take the bus? They only had 50 cent!

If you invited all the alphabet to tea who would be late? The letters 'UVWXYZ' because they all come after 'T'.

All believers in telekinesis raise my hand!

If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M

What's the difference between pokemon and pokewomon? poke balls

You know you're a redneck when you go to a family reunion to find a girlfriend.

How to break up a dating couple: Knock-knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I dumped your girlfriend last night?

BOB- We were learning about fractions today in math class. JOE- Oh, really? What did you learn? BOB- One half of what I was supposed to!

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? A. Hey, let's go ride bikes!

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Falcons fan, an Eagles fan, and a Steelers fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan. Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Patriots fan proclaimed to the other three... "This is for the New England Patriots!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice. Not to be outdone by a Patriots fan, the Falcons fan jumped up and said... "This is for the Atlanta Falcons!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a form of sacrifice. Refusing to be outdone by the Patriots and Falcons fans, the Steelers fan rose to his feet and yel

A man said to his golfing friend, "I hit two of my best balls yesterday!" "Oh yeah?" "Yeah, I stepped on a rake in the bunker."

What are the first 4 words in the Mexican National Anthem? "Attention all K-Mart shoppers"