How do you know Adam wasnt black? Have you ever tried to take a rib away from a black man? How do you know when Mexicans are illegal? When you scream "La Migra", and everybody is gone in less than a minute. How do you know when a white guy's family is really white? When he tries to be black or mexican.

Wait a second!!! I am NOT a loser! I have tried. I am a failure.

Knock-knock Who's there? Olive Olive who? Olive you!!!

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: "Ames" "Here!" "Jenson" "Here!" "Jones" "Here!" "Magersky" "Here!" "Seeback" No answer. "Seeback!" No answer was heard again. "SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent. At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Banana ! Banana who ? Banana split, so ice creamed !

Why doesn't the glue inside the bottle dry?

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. After a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.

The cat was chasing the rooster around on the farm, then the cat fell in the water and the rooster laughed. Lesson: For every wet pussy there is a happy cock

Please tell me how to obey these signs: All Night Dance Club; NO MUSIC ALLOWED Public Stairway; Please do not climb on stairs Country Road; NO PEDESTRIANS OR AUTOMOBILES A room in a touch-an-feel musem; Do not touch A seminar for the deaf; Please listen to others Local bookstore; Feel free to read books in this section, however do not read them in this store A local carpet store completely covered in rugs; Come in! Please do not step on rugs And please tell me who wrote these signs.

The only thing truly free of charge is a dead battery.

Short naps prevent aging, especially if taken while driving.

Jack was living in Arizona, during a heat wave, when the following took place. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack, as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money."