Knock Knock Who's there? Snowflake. Snowflake who? There's snowflake like home!

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. Mom said, 'Sure, sweetie. I'll send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?' 'Uh, oh yeah, OK,' responded the kid. So Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, 'Well how much did you give the boy this time? Mom said, 'Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20, and the other for $1000' 'That's $1020!!!' yelled Dad, 'Are you crazy???' 'Don't worry hon,' Mom said, as she kissed Dad on the on top

Knock-knock! Who's there? Toby. Toby who? Toby or not toby that is the question!

You might just be a redneck if your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

One blond to another: "The electicity break down was terrible. I was stuck in the lift for 2 hours." The other blond: "That's nothing, I stood on the elevator for 6 hours!!!

Dear Bob in Tech Support, I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever, as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off, but I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Leisure 3.1 and QuietTime programs, often trying to abort them with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probabl

A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."

Question: What did the frog order at McDonald's? Answer: An order of french flies and a diet croak!!

Bill and Bob were mischievous brothers. They always picked fights with each other. One day, their mother told them to go outside and play, but to remember to be good. Suddenly, Bob came running back in and said, "Mommy! Mommy! Bill broke Ms. Allen's window!" Ms. Allen was their next door neighbor. Their mom was shocked. "Tell me, Bob. How did Bill break her window?" Bob puffed out his chest and said accusingly, "I threw a rock at him and he dodged!"

Kurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play "The Calculator Game". I'm sure many people reading this remember it - it's the one where you enter "1 + 1 =" into your calculator and continue pressing the "=" sign. The goal is to see who can get to the highest number while the math teacher is talking. Bring back any memories? Anyways, Kurt and Megan waited until the teacher started talking, and the contest was on! Fingers were pushing the "=" sign like mad. A hour and a half later, Kurt and Megan compared results. Kurt showed his number: 5,318,008. Megan said, "I don't get it. I was feeling so clever and I thought I'd play a trick on you, but

The pub landlord was delighted with the little puppy that he'd acquired, and the little puppy was very pleased with his new home. He'd run around the place, just a bundle of energy - very inquisitive, examining this, looking into that, non-stop all day, until the inevitable happened and he caught his tail in a fast-closing door and lost it! Time passed, and as one human year equals seven dog years, eventually he went to dog-heaven, for an endless supply of dog biscuits, walks in paradise - well, you couldn't call it a dog's life! However, he felt incomplete, and one night around midnight, he went back in his ghostly form to ask to be made whole again. "Sorry," said the landlord, "you kno

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's ass was that eye staring right back at him. "You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."