Minners - Live bait. Misrus - Married woman. Nar - Opposite of wide. Nayk - Your head sets on it. Nup – No. Orrel - Them hinges need orrel. Ormy - What the sojers go in. Pank - A light red color. Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow. Petition - What separate the rooms. Poke - A paper bag or sack. Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in. Salit - A green vegetable. Puppet - What the preacher is in. Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher. Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig. Rang - You wear it on your fanger. Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts. Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town.

Yo mamma smells so bad, when she went into the enchanted forest, all the skunks commited suicide!

The Russian wrestling team and American wrestling team are having a 5-on-5 exhibition match. Both teams are down to their final wrestlers, tied at two wins apiece. The remaining American wrestler is 5'10", 175lbs., and his Russian counterpart is 6'7", 300lbs and all muscle. The American coach sends his wrestler into the match with little hope of winning. As expected, the Russian has with way with the American. Suddenly, the American explosively turns the match around, pins the Russian, and gains the victory for the American team. The American wrestler returns to the sidelines where the coach asks him, "Son, how were you able to defeat that big Russian? Honestly, I didn't give you much of a

Time may fly, but does it have wings?

Little Tommy was telling his friend Billy all about his Christmas presents. "My daddy bought me a mouth organ. It's the best present I've ever had." "Why?" "Because my mummy gives me extra money every week if I don't play it."

Colorado • Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. • Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers. • Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. • Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. • Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the

What's a bunny's favorite type of dance? Hip Hop!

Why did the cow cross the street? To get to the udder side!

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the knowing) in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now, the preacher knew the mayor, and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and f

On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog. On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth, especially the horse, to serve as potential food for the dog. On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog. On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it. On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke. On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.

Clones are people two.

What does the dentist of the year get? ..A little plaque.