Now here's a classic joke that's been told by many kids, that should be very well known . . . anyway, after you read this, it's funny to try it on someone After every statement, say, "Behind the rock" 1. Billy went 2. He took off his shoes 3. He took off his socks 4. He took off his shirt 5. He took off his pants 6. He took off his undies 7. He made out with someone 8. Where were you?

The teacher asks: "Fritzchen, why are you always speaking of our Soviet brothers? It's 'Soviet friends'." Fritz responds: "Well, you can pick your friends."

"The fact that the GDR considers itself as one of the 5 technologically most advanced power of the nations may be be given to the fact that there are only 5 fingers on a hand. " University lecture in Hungary in the 70s

Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini? A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.

Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini? A: Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.

The town of Chelm decided to build a new synagogue. So, some strong, able-bodied men were sent to a mountaintop to gather heavy stones for the foundation. The men put the stones on their shoulders and trudged down the mountain to the town below. When they arrived, the town constable yelled, "Foolish men! You should have rolled the stones down the mountain!" The men agreed this was an excellent idea. So they turned around, and with the stones still on their shoulders, trudged back up the mountain, and rolled the stones back down again.

After the assassination of Tsar Alexander II of Russia, a government official in Ukraine menacingly addressed the local rabbi, "I suppose you know in full detail who was behind it." "Ach," the rabbi replied, "I have no idea, but the government's conclusion will be the same as always: they will blame the Jews and the bicyclists." "Why the bicyclists?" asked the befuddled official. "Why the Jews?" responded the rabbi.

"What is the main difference of succession under tsarist regime and under socialism?" "Under tsarist regime the power transferred from father to a son, and under socialism - from one grandfather to another."

A Pokemon Trainer walks into a STD help center. The nurse there says "Sorry, but it looks like you've caught 'em all"

What did the farmer say when his truck disappeared? Where's my truck?

Yo momma is so fat that when she rolled offa the bed, she rolled off BOTH sides. Yo momma is so fat that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck. Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter. Yo momma's so fat that when she wears a red shirt all the kids go "koolaid! koolaid!" Yo momma's so fat that when I swerved to miss her, I ran outta gas. Yo momma's so fat that when I tried to drive around her, I had to stop and ask for directions. Yo momma has so many chins that she keeps a bookmark in her mouth so she can remember where to stuff the food. yo mama is so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch xD Yo moma's like a baby she sucks everything in sight Yo

Have you heard the joke about the blind gynecologist? She could "read lips."