We all know the world war II games right?And they also have the Thompson gun which belongs to the Americans and British. There is a 2nd meaning. (Capital letters make for Thompson not just the beginning words.If you know what I mean) Thompson means:Theories Having Oatmeal Mayhem.Prefers to Sadness because Oatmeal is Numb. Capital letters are the letters of Thompson.

The teacher asks: "Fritzchen, what is the difference between capitalism and socialism?" Fritz replies: "Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Under socialism, it is the other way around."

"Comrade Brezhnev, is it true that you collect political jokes?" — "Yes" — "And how many have you collected so far?" — "Three and a half labor camps."

(I put the pun words in CAPS) A man was smoking in a no smoking restaurant. Mik went up to him and said "sir, you'll have to leave'. The smoker said to mik "what if I dont wanna, yeah?, what'll ya do then?" Mak walked up to the smoking man's face and said 'leave. this is a no smoking restaurant. no BUTTS about it". The man said "fine" and walked out and jumped on his bike. Mik said to mak " man, has that bike been through a RECYCLING machine"? Word spread, and no smokers smoked in that restaurant ever again.

Yo Mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

Yo mama is so poor that when I walked in the front door, I tripped over the back gate.

How do you keep a Rhino from charging? Take away its credit card.

This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the words Lewinski and Kaczynski in a limerick. Here are the 3 winners. Entry # 1 There once was a gal named Lewinsky Who played on a flute like Stravinsky 'Twas "Hail to the Chief" on this flute made of beef that stole the front page from Kaczynski. Entry # 2 Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski, Since you look such a mess, use the hem of your dress And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky. Entry # 3 Lewinsky and Clinton have shown what Kaczynski must surely have known: that an intern is better than a bomb in a letter given the choice of how to be blown.

3 men die in a car crash and are sent to the pearly gates. Having all lived good lives, they were all allowed in but they had certain restrictions. God told them that he would ask them a question. They should answer truthfully and depending on how they answer they will receive a home and a vehicle. God asked the first man, "How many times have you cheated on your wife?" The man said, "None. Never once." God says, "Good. For being faithful you get a mansion and a stretch limo with a chaffeur." Then God asks the second man how many times he's cheated. The man says, "Only twice." God says, "That is bad but at least you lived the rest of your life well. Have a 2 story house and a nice SUV." Then

Your mama so fat that she has to wear traintracks for a belt!

This is off a Coast Guard bumper sticker: Support Search and Rescue: GET LOST!