When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always

A blond in a mathematics test encountered this problem Find X This was her answer i i \ i \ 14.6578i \ i \ X________ Here it is i \ i \ i \ i \ i_________\ 12.76

yo mamma is so thin when she turns sidways she dissapears

Yo momma is so fat, she wore an X-Files T-shirt and a helicopter landed on her.

When you were born, God admitted that even he sometimes made mistakes!

Justin: If you give me a quarter, I'll give you everything in my lunch box. Zach: That depends... what's in your lunchbox? Justin: Nothing!

A blonde and a brunette jump off of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Who lands first? \ / \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.

A bear, a lion and a chicken were having a discussion as to which one of them scares humans the most. "I only have to growl," said the bear, "and people start to get a bit nervous." The lion said, "I just have to roar and people run away." "That's nothing," replied the chicken. "I only have to sneeze and the whole world panics."

How many mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb? Pi. 3 screw exactly a radius's length, and the last about-one-seventh screws it in all the way!

A blonde went to see her doctor for her annual checkup so the doctor gave her the once over. At the end of the checkup he shone a light in her ear to have a look; amazed, he shook his head and walked away. See below what the doctor had seen. A big sign SPACE FOR RENT.

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"