Popular Jokes
1. George Washington isn't the first president. He was the first elected president.
2. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women.
3. It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidently planted by squirrels who bury nuts and forget where they hid them.
4. Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel,"Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words--none of them with the letter "E".
5. Of all the words in the English laguage, the word "set" has the most definitions.
6. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.
7. Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States.
8. The sun is 330,330 times larger than the Earth.
9. A mole can dig
Q: What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist?
A: Someone who is at two with the universe.
A teacher in California asked her class, "How many of you are Republicans?"
Everyone in the class raised their hands except for one girl. "Mary," the teacher inquired, "Why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Republican," she replied. "I'm a Democrat."
The teacher asked her, "Why are you a Democrat?"
And Mary said, "Well, my mother and my father are both Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too."
"Well," said the teacher in an annoyed tone, "That's no reason why you have to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your parents were both criminals?"
"Then," Mary said, "We'd be Republicans."
There lived a Chinese and an American in a hotel. One day, the Chinese felt thirsty, so he decided to get a drink of water. So he went to the public refrigerator, took a can of coke, and drank it. Then he wanted to go pee, so he peed in the can, closed the cap, put it back in the fridge, and hid in a corner.
The American came a few minutes later. He took the can, took a sip, and then the Chinese man popped out from his hiding place and said:
"Me Chinese,
"Me play joke,
"Me go pee-pee in your coke!"
*SOCK*
A famous blonde actress and her husband are going to meet an American. However, her husband has forgotten the young man's name. Later, the young man asks for an autograph. She asks, trying to find his name out, "How do you spell your name?" Upon hearing this, he said,"B-E-N A long time ago when I saw your first play on Broadway and got an autograph, you knew how to spell it."
You have more than three first names.
You drove a monster truck to the prom.
You are marrying your brother-in-law.
You go out, get drunk, and come home with a tatoo of your momma's name.
Your last name is your first name spelled backwards
You are readiing these jokes!!!
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count to fifty before saying anything important, and to one hundred if it was very important. The next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: "Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire, sir!"
There once was a boy, whose parents was a cursed a lot.
One time, while he was on a drive with his dad, a policeman pulled him over and gave him a ticket. "Bastard!" the father muttered afterwards.
The boy asked, "What does 'bastard' mean?"
The dad told him nervously, "It's a slang word for 'police officer'."
Another time, the dad was walking out of the house. On his way out, he tripped over the doormat and yelled, "Shit!"
The boy heard and asked, "Dad, what does 'shit' mean?"
The dad said to him, "It means 'doormat'."
Later, the boy went into the kitchen and his mum was cooking eggs. She dropped one and yelled angrily, "Tit!"
The boy asked her, "What does 'tit' mean?"
The m
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