A blond in a mathematics test encountered this problem Find X This was her answer i i \ i \ 14.6578i \ i \ X________ Here it is i \ i \ i \ i \ i_________\ 12.76

When you were born, God admitted that even he sometimes made mistakes!

Good insult: Your mom goes to college! Good comeback: How do you know? Stalker!

Yo mamma is so stupid, that when the power went out, she said, "Don't worry, we'll just watch a tape."

Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.

The Indian chief introduced his wife to a newspaper reporter; "This is Three Horse." "That's a picturesque name," said the reporter. "Does it have deep symbolism?" "Yes," the chief replied. "Nag, nag, nag!"

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!" I slowly took a long drink from my can of Old Milwaukee Light, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Oakley sunglasses and looked at this nosy ass neighbor and replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass."

A young boy asks his dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there is also my son; that's confidential!"

For those of you who do not know, a stroop test is where you say the color of the word, but not the word itself(and the words are spelling out colors). One day there was a blonde. She saw stroop tests and found them fun. One day she was on a radio show. She said she was a fan of stroop tests and said she'd give the audience one. She explained what it was. "Blue" "Red" "Green" The first to call and give the answers would win a cash prize. Someone called in. "YOU MORON! YOU CANT SPEAK A STROOP TEST!"

- You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top. - Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds. - You have an Elvis Jell-o mold. - You own more cowboy boots than sneakers. - You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars. - You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. - You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car. - There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink? A: To a crow bar.