if stealing kids is kidnapping,is stealing adults oldnapping?

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved

May your troubles be as few and far between as your great-grandmother's teeth.

A male blue whale, can ejaculate 40 gallons of sperm during sex. Only 10% of that will get to the female. The other 36 gallons is left in the sea. No wonder the sea's so salty.

Today in history class the topic was the Incas. Hoping to see if the students had done the reading, the teacher calls on random students and asks them questions. "Where could the Incas be found?" The teacher's first question. "Jonie?" foolishly she called on the blonde. Not having actually done the homework, and only halfway hearing the question, she guesses: "In the pen?"

Child 1: Whatcha gonna do? Child 2: I'm gonna watch TV! Child 1: Guess what? I'm the QUEEN of the TV Freaks!

The best things in life are free and the worst things in life cost only $19.95.

Jesus sees a woman being assaulted by an angry crowd and steps in front of her and says, "let he who hath no sin cast the first stone." From the crowd comes a rock flying at the woman. Jesus looks over and says, "Damn it mother, sometimes you really piss me off."

"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not." "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"

Yo Momma jokes are so stupid, I barf everytime I see one!

How can you tell the difference between a violin and a fiddle? Look at the audience!

Boy: Is your dad a baker? Girl: No. Why? Boy: Cause you're a cutie pie!!