Popular Jokes
A male blue whale, can ejaculate 40 gallons of sperm during sex.
Only 10% of that will get to the female.
The other 36 gallons is left in the sea.
No wonder the sea's so salty.
Today in history class the topic was the Incas. Hoping to see if the students had done the reading, the teacher calls on random students and asks them questions.
"Where could the Incas be found?" The teacher's first question. "Jonie?" foolishly she called on the blonde.
Not having actually done the homework, and only halfway hearing the question, she guesses: "In the pen?"
What's gross?
Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.
What's grosser than that?
Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
What's grosser than that?
When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face.
You want to know what's grosser than that?
When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.
But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
Child 1: Whatcha gonna do?
Child 2: I'm gonna watch TV!
Child 1: Guess what? I'm the QUEEN of the TV Freaks!
"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not."
"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
Q. What goes clop... clop... clop... BANG! clop clop clop clop clop clop?
A. An Amish driveby
There once was a man from Rangoon
Whose farts could be heard on the moon;
When you'd least expect 'em
They'd burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon!!
Justin: If you give me a quarter, I'll give you everything in my lunch box.
Zach: That depends... what's in your lunchbox?
Justin: Nothing!
Home
