At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Weight Watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for tests. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the birth of their first child. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread, and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

Child 1: Whatcha gonna do? Child 2: I'm gonna watch TV! Child 1: Guess what? I'm the QUEEN of the TV Freaks!

Yo momma's credit is so bad,,, The bank wants the their calendar back

"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not." "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"

Q. What goes clop... clop... clop... BANG! clop clop clop clop clop clop? A. An Amish driveby

Yo Momma jokes are so stupid, I barf everytime I see one!

How can you tell the difference between a violin and a fiddle? Look at the audience!

Teacher: Can you name four animals of the cat family? Mary:Mother cat,Father cat,and two kittens.

Yo momma is so fat, she wore an X-Files T-shirt and a helicopter landed on her.

There once was a man from Rangoon Whose farts could be heard on the moon; When you'd least expect 'em They'd burst from his rectum With the force of a raging typhoon!!

Grey hair is hereditary - you get it from your kids.

Teacher: "Simon! What does it mean if the barometer falls?" Simon: "Err.. The nail's come out of the wall, miss?"