Popular Jokes
Did you here about the new redneck Barbie doll?
It comes with twelve kids, aids, and a welfare check.
New Office Slang
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404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking John. He's 404."
Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "I dunno, ask Rick. He's our alpha geek."
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers t
Parent: You two should sing in the talent show together.
Tim: When pigs fly!
cindy: You fly?
They have finally started practicing safe sex in Scotland...
They now paint red X's on the sheep that kick
How are opera singers and sailors alike?
They both have to handle the high seas(Cs)!
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these a
One day, there was a powerful slide, and when you go down on it, you wish for something and you get it. One guy goes down the slide, and says, "A pot of gold," and he gets it. Another guy goes down and says, "A pot of silver," and he gets it. The third guy says, "Weeee," and he gets a pot of wee!
Teacher: If you found five pence in one pocket and ten pence in the other,what would you have?
Willy: Somebody else's trousers.
How can you tell if a mathematician is an extrovert?
He looks at *your* shoes when he talks to you.
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