Popular Jokes
Ronnie never listens in science class because he says it's boring..
One day his teacher asked, "Ronnie, What are the 3 states of matter?"
Since he heard his name he did listen to the question. So he thinks for a second and replies, "Texas, Florida, and Arkansas!"
1) How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it!
2) How does a blonde kill a bird?
She throws it off a cliff!
3) How does a blonde lose 5 pounds?
She takes off her make up!
4) Why does a blonde wash her hair in the sink?
Because thats where you wash vegetables!
5) What did the blonde think of her new computer?
She couldn't get channel 9!
"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not."
"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
Yo momma is so fat she was runing in the street with a yellow raincoat and the kids thougth they mised the bus.
Relish today, ketchup tomorrow!
A hamburger walks into the bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
I wanted to be a mime, but I talked myself out of it.
Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, "I hate all the blonde jokes people say."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you," replies her brunette friend.
So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See, that guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replies the blonde." There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
One day a blonde was surfing the internet. After a few hours, she decided to have a coffee break.
When the blonde came back, she screamed. There was a bug on her moniter! She ran upstairs and grabbed a fly swatter. When she came back down she couldn't swat the bug. It was to big!
The blonde then remembered the label on the computer, for people having technical difficulties. After a while of searching, she found the label. She called the number immediately.
"Hello, this is Dell technical difficulties station", a man on the other side said.
"Hey, there's a bug on my monitor, and I tried swatting it, but it won't come off!" The blonde cried.
The man replied, "Well, the solution is simple.
A man was walking through the desert, when he found a woman buried up to her neck.
The woman asks him to dig her out, and he says, "What's in it for me?"
She replies, "Sand."
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.
To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.
Algebraical s
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