Popular Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tracks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"
For all of you who say I need anger management...
Just to let you know, if I could control my anger, I'd destroy you with it!
Banta Singh got tired of being the butt of jokes, and decided to do his PhD. Banta was looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis when he saw a cockroach. Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cuts one of its leg. Then he said "Walk". The cockroach moves forward. Then Banta cut its second leg and commanded "Walk". The cockroach manages to moves forward. Then Banta cut its third leg and commanded "Walk". The cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg. Finally Banta cut its fourth leg and said "Walk". The poor cockroach could not move and lay helplessly on the table. He repeats the same with over 1000 cockroaches. He finds that the results in all his experiments match. Ban
Some common phrases that bees should know:
Are you are hipbee?
How comb?
Hive already finished.
You Know You're From Canada When...
1.) You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."
2.) You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
3.) You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
4.) You drink pop, not soda.
5.) You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.
6.) You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.
7.) You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
8.) You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
9.) You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
10.) You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
11.) You get excited w
NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.
VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark -- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the m
If someone says, "A penny for your thoughts,", and you give them your two cents worth, what happens to the other penny?
Fred was getting out of his car to go to an electronics store and had his dog in the car with him. "Stay," said Fred.
A blond was witnessing all this and said to Fred, "Would it just be easier to put it in park?"
Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.
This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve, announced to his congregation that he would not renew his contract. He explained that he must move on to a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush; no one wanted him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owned several new car dealerships, stood up and proclaimde, "If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighed with appreciation and applauded.
Sam Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor, stood and said, "If the Rabbi stays here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guaran
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