Knock knock. Who's there? No one. No one who? No one to tell you who's here!

Q: Where is Spiderman's home page? A: On the world wide web. Q: Why is Superman stupid? A: Because he wears his underwear over his pants. Q: Why is Batman more stupid? A: Because he wears his underwear over his pants and puts on a belt over his underwear. Q: Why is Robin even more stupid? A: Because he followed what batman did. Q: Why is Wonder Woman stupid? A: Because she wears a belt on her head. Q: Why is Spiderman the most stupid superhero of them all? A: Because he wears his underwear over his head.

A gent spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself," she answered. "Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like men," she said. "So, what's your name?" she asked. "Beerf$%^."

This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve, announced to his congregation that he would not renew his contract. He explained that he must move on to a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush; no one wanted him to leave. Sol Epstein, who owned several new car dealerships, stood up and proclaimde, "If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighed with appreciation and applauded. Sam Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor, stood and said, "If the Rabbi stays here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guaran

So I have this great knock knock joke for you! Knock Knock Who's there? Hello? Hello who? Hello? Hello who!!? Oh Hi? Hey, I have this great knock knock joke for you! Okay knock knock. Who's there? Hello? Who's there!!!!!!?? The door slams. Knock knock. Ding Dong. Fine. Hello? Hello? Hello!!!? *peacecylone*

Want to know a dirty joke? A white horse falls into a mud puddle. Wanna know a clean joke? The horse takes a shower.

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" The woman, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me." "It's really, really you, grandmother?" the woman repeats. "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me." The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for you." "Anything, my child."

Boys are like public toilets; they're either taken, or full of crap. (no offense to you boys)

Where do fish keep their money? In a riverbank!

How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler!

If this offends anyone, PM me. You know you're a Mexican when... 1. Someone related to you has their name tattooed anywhere on their body. 2. Your family goes to the flea market in their Sunday's best. 3. Your birthday doesn't have cake, candy, and Coca-Cola but has fajitas, chicken, and tequila. 4. When you've seen your uncle wearing your "new" clothes. 5. Your favorite music is not rap, rock, pop, or oldies, but instead, Tejano.

Girl 1: "This morning my dad gave me soap-flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast!" Girl 2: "I bet you were angry with him!" Girl 1: "Angry?! I was foaming at the mouth!"